Goldenberg’s Original Peanut Chews – Deeply Nutty and Chewy

With some older candies, their continuing longevity is somewhat mystifying to me (the surprisingly unpleasant Necco Wafers being a prime example of this). However, in the case of Goldenberg’s Original Peanut Chews, I can definitely understand how they’ve managed to stick around all these years (since 1917, according to the packaging): they’re simple, satisfying and tasty.

Goldenberg's Original Peanut Chews

The Peanut Chews consist simply of a chewy, caramel-like molasses combined with crunchy roasted peanuts, and coated with a thin “dark chocolately” (ie. mockolate) coating. The mockolate seems to be purely aesthetic, as it doesn’t really contribute anything to the taste or the texture.

As for the main attraction of the bar, the molasses and peanuts: it’s quite good. It’s exceptionally peanutty, with a strong peanutty aroma and enough peanuts to ensure that the ratio of peanuts to molasses is something like 50/50. The whole thing is not very sweet at all, with a really rich, almost bitter flavour. It does, however, have a pleasantly sweet, somewhat honey-like aftertaste.

Goldenberg's Original Peanut Chews

I should note that the version I bought, purchased from the Cracker Barrel, features special, retro packaging. The one you’ll find in most stores is simply called “Peanut Chews” and features a much more contemporary-looking wrapper (which was the result of Just Born – the makers of Mike & Ike – purchasing the Goldenberg Candy Company in 2003).

3 out of 4

Manufactured by: Just Born
Calories (4 pieces, 47 g): 230

Dark Chocolate Moose Munch Chocolate Bar – So, So Good

Moose Munch is definitely unique – popcorn isn’t generally an ingredient you’ll find in all that many candy bars (in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had a candy bar with popcorn in it). But this bar certainly makes a persuasive argument for the inclusion of popcorn in chocolate.

Dark Chocolate Moose Munch Chocolate Bar

The Dark Chocolate Moose Munch Chocolate Bar features a creamy, truffle-like centre with chunks of almonds, crunchy toffee and popcorn, all enrobed in dark chocolate. The centre alone – a smooth, richly intense dark chocolate fudge – is enough for me to give this bar a hearty recommendation. It’s really good. The crunchy bits elevate this from “delicious” to “why can’t I buy this in Canada??” (I purchased this bar at a Target in the States, and have lamentably never seen it anywhere in Canada).

Dark Chocolate Moose Munch Chocolate Bar

The combination of Almonds and dark chocolate is an old standby, and works quite well here. The bits of crunchy toffee have a fairly distinct flavour and definitely add more than just crunchiness to the mix. As for the popcorn, it’s not present in every mouthful, but when it is there it gives this bar a nicely unique flavour. It all adds up to something that is surprisingly awesome. It’s probably a good thing that this isn’t readily available where I live – if it were, I’d be eating it all the time, and would inevitably wind up like the gluttony guy from Seven.

4 out of 4

Manufactured by: Harry and David
Calories (56 g bar): 290

5th Avenue – Like a Butterfinger, but Worse

I still can’t see a 5th Avenue bar without thinking about that jingle from a few years back (“It will make you go crunch! 5th Avenue!”). The commercial is over a decade old, and yet that crazy song still pops into my head from time to time. So there’s no doubt that their advertising is effective (at least in my case… stupid catchy jingle), but is the bar any good?

5th Avenue

5th Avenue is fairly similar to a Butterfinger; it contains crispy, crunchy peanut butter, coated in a layer of mockolate (yep, this is yet another bar infected by that recent scourge of Hershey lovers everywhere, mockolate). I’m normally fairly easy-going when it comes to mockolate, however the greasy “chocolatey coating” on this bar seems far worse than average. It probably doesn’t help that there’s a pretty thick layer of the stuff.

As for the crunchy peanut butter centre, it’s not bad, though it’s almost ridiculously sweet (it’s a throat-burner). The peanut flavour is more subtle than it needs to be (thanks, no doubt, to being drowned out by the extreme sweetness). The filling also tends to lodge itself on your teeth, though I suppose that is part of the experience of eating a bar like this or Butterfinger.

5th Avenue

5th Avenue really isn’t a bad candy bar, but thanks to the greasy mockolate and less-than-peanutty taste, it’s definitely inferior to the very similar Butterfinger.

2.5 out of 4

Manufactured by: Hershey
Calories (56 g bar): 280

Riesen – Ultra-Chewy Caramel

As far as caramel goes, if Caramilk (or Caramello in the States) is the softest that you’ll find, Riesen is the chewiest. It really is about as chewy as caramel gets; biting into one of the dense pieces of caramel unprepared can easily result in some sore teeth.

Riesen

Riesen consists of five individual pieces of “chocolate caramel,” each with a liberal coating of dark chocolate. The chocolate gives each piece an initial creaminess and flavour, though the caramel is so thick that the chocolate is gone long before you’re done chewing the caramel. As for the super-chewy, sticks-to-your-teeth caramel – it’s not very sweet at all, and has a really rich, almost molassesy flavour. It’s definitely pretty different from the typical caramel, and will give your mouth a workout – after eating only a couple of these, my jaw was already getting pretty sore.

Riesen

The nice thing about Riesen is that it offers something a bit different from the usual candy bar; it’s subtly sweet (which is certainly not something you can say for almost any American candy bar) and for the frugally-minded, its chewiness ensures that it’ll last a lot longer than the norm.

3 out of 4

Manufactured by: Storck
Calories (40.5 g package): 190

Hebert’s Fully Loaded Rocky Road Milk Chocolate Bar – A Whole Bunch of Tasty Stuff

Looking at Hebert’s Fully Loaded Rocky Road Milk Chocolate Bar (that just rolls off your tongue, doesn’t it?), it becomes clear pretty quickly that they’re not kidding around with the whole “fully loaded” thing: the entire underside of the bar is completely covered with chunks of walnuts, dark chocolate and marshmallow pieces. My initial impression was that the bar may just be too overloaded, with my fear being that all that stuff would overwhelm the chocolate. Happily, I was wrong.

Hebert’s Fully Loaded Rocky Road Milk Chocolate Bar

It probably helps that, despite the thick layer of chunks on the bottom of the bar, the actual bar itself is pure chocolate. The chocolate itself is very creamy, and has a smooth, milky flavour. The marshmallows (which seem to be infused with a dark chocolate flavour) add their own taste, as well as a mild chewiness. As for the nuts, they’re slightly crunchy but otherwise doesn’t bring much to the table.

Hebert’s Fully Loaded Rocky Road Milk Chocolate Bar

This Fully Loaded bar is definitely better than I thought it would be. It’s not overly sweet, as you might imagine it would be, and the flavours all compliment each other fairly well.

3 out of 4

Manufactured by: Hebert Confections
Calories (78 g bar): 400