mockolate Archives - Page 4 of 5

January 9, 2009January 10, 2021 Michael

Coconut Patties – Coconut Candy Done Right

Candy Bars

This is the second coconut confection that I purchased from the Cracker Barrel, and it’s pretty much the complete opposite of the 3 Color Coconut, at least in terms of quality. Where 3 Color Coconut features the worst qualities of coconut candy (unpleasant chewiness combined with a lack of flavour), Coconut Patties features the best. It’s definitely one of my favourite coconut candies, alongside Bounty (which is still the king, as far as I’m concerned).

A package of Coconut Patties consists of two chewy, sweet patties of coconut, each one partially dipped in “chocolate.” The package does seem to claim that it’s real chocolate, though as far as I’m aware it is illegal to call something chocolate if it doesn’t contain cocoa butter, which is suspiciously absent on the list of ingredients. I’m not sure what the story is there, but it’s pretty much redundant anyway – the “chocolate” here only adds a subtle chocolatey flavour, so I doubt it would make much of a difference if it were real or if it were fake.

As for the coconut, it has a really rich flavour and is sweet without being too sweet. It’s chewy, but without that unpleasant “the flavour is gone, why am I still chewing this??” sensation. It’s definitely coconut done right.

Manufactured by: Anastasia Confections
Calories (2 patties, 75 g): 300

December 1, 2008January 10, 2021 Michael

Goldenberg’s Original Peanut Chews – Deeply Nutty and Chewy

Candy Bars

With some older candies, their continuing longevity is somewhat mystifying to me (the surprisingly unpleasant Necco Wafers being a prime example of this). However, in the case of Goldenberg’s Original Peanut Chews, I can definitely understand how they’ve managed to stick around all these years (since 1917, according to the packaging): they’re simple, satisfying and tasty.

The Peanut Chews consist simply of a chewy, caramel-like molasses combined with crunchy roasted peanuts, and coated with a thin “dark chocolately” (ie. mockolate) coating. The mockolate seems to be purely aesthetic, as it doesn’t really contribute anything to the taste or the texture.

As for the main attraction of the bar, the molasses and peanuts: it’s quite good. It’s exceptionally peanutty, with a strong peanutty aroma and enough peanuts to ensure that the ratio of peanuts to molasses is something like 50/50. The whole thing is not very sweet at all, with a really rich, almost bitter flavour. It does, however, have a pleasantly sweet, somewhat honey-like aftertaste.

I should note that the version I bought, purchased from the Cracker Barrel, features special, retro packaging. The one you’ll find in most stores is simply called “Peanut Chews” and features a much more contemporary-looking wrapper (which was the result of Just Born – the makers of Mike & Ike – purchasing the Goldenberg Candy Company in 2003).

Manufactured by: Just Born
Calories (4 pieces, 47 g): 230

November 26, 2008January 10, 2021 Michael

5th Avenue – Like a Butterfinger, but Worse

Candy Bars

I still can’t see a 5^th Avenue bar without thinking about that jingle from a few years back (“It will make you go crunch! 5th Avenue!”). The commercial is over a decade old, and yet that crazy song still pops into my head from time to time. So there’s no doubt that their advertising is effective (at least in my case… stupid catchy jingle), but is the bar any good?

5^th Avenue is fairly similar to a Butterfinger; it contains crispy, crunchy peanut butter, coated in a layer of mockolate (yep, this is yet another bar infected by that recent scourge of Hershey lovers everywhere, mockolate). I’m normally fairly easy-going when it comes to mockolate, however the greasy “chocolatey coating” on this bar seems far worse than average. It probably doesn’t help that there’s a pretty thick layer of the stuff.

As for the crunchy peanut butter centre, it’s not bad, though it’s almost ridiculously sweet (it’s a throat-burner). The peanut flavour is more subtle than it needs to be (thanks, no doubt, to being drowned out by the extreme sweetness). The filling also tends to lodge itself on your teeth, though I suppose that is part of the experience of eating a bar like this or Butterfinger.

5^th Avenue really isn’t a bad candy bar, but thanks to the greasy mockolate and less-than-peanutty taste, it’s definitely inferior to the very similar Butterfinger.

Manufactured by: Hershey
Calories (56 g bar): 280

November 13, 2008January 10, 2021 Michael

Whatchamacallit – Sweet and Peanutty, but Real Chocolate Would be Nice

Candy Bars

The oddly named Whatchamacallit is another bar affected by the recent Hershey cheapening, in which Hershey has replaced the chocolate in many of its products with a cheaper chocolate substitute (mockolate). Though real chocolate probably would have improved things, I don’t think its absence is particularly felt here (there’s so much other stuff going on in this bar that it’s doubtful that your average person would even notice that it’s mockolate rather than chocolate).

Whatchamacallit consists of a crispy hunk of peanutty puffed rice, topped with a thin layer of caramel and coated in mockolate. The bar is quite crispy with a fairly pronounced peanut flavour. The caramel gives it a lingering chewiness and adds some sweetness to the mix (this is a very sweet bar).

Because of the crispiness/chewiness of the filling, and the strongly sweet, peanutty flavour, the mockolate is pretty much completely unnecessary – it neither detracts from or adds to the bar. A stronger chocolate flavour might have helped. I recall liking this a bit better the last time I had it (in its Canadian iteration, called Special Crisp), though it’s been a while, so it’s hard to say.

Manufactured by: Hershey
Calories (45 g bar): 220

October 24, 2008January 10, 2021 Michael

Crunch Crisp – An Uninspired Twist on a Classic Bar

Candy Bars

There was a time, a few years back, when new candy bars were a fairly regular occurrence. It was always exciting to walk into the store and see a brand new candy bar you’ve never heard of before. I guess at some point the candy manufacturers realized that they could make more money by releasing variations on existing bars rather than introduce something completely new. So now whenever there’s a new bar, it’s always some twist on a currently available candy, no matter how tenuous the connection is with the original product.

The original Crunch bar, containing milk chocolate and puffed rice, is a classic. Crunch Crisp adds wafers filled with “chocolate crème” to the mix, and replaces the milk chocolate with fake chocolate (i.e. the dreaded mockolate). I generally don’t mind when a candy bar like this is coated with mockolate; it’s not exactly my preference, but there’s usually not a whole lot of it, and it tends to take a backseat to the other ingredients.

The mockolate here doesn’t necessarily hurt the bar, but it certainly doesn’t help it either. The main problem with this bar is that it doesn’t really taste like anything. It has an amorphous sweetness, but none of the ingredients really contribute any particular flavour – the wafers and puffed rice add crispiness but don’t taste like much, and the chocolate crème is sweet without having a strong chocolate flavour. The whole thing is covered in mockolate, which is also lacking in the taste department, and of course has that slightly waxy texture all mockolate tends to have.

That’s not to say that this is a horrible bar, simply one that epitomizes the word “meh.” If there’s one lying around, I guess I’ll eat it, but it’s not something that I’m going to be running to the store to buy again.

Manufactured by: Nestle
Calories (49.3 g bar): 240