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February 7, 2021 Michael

Jelly Belly Mint Filled Chocolate Bar – Shockingly Good

Candy Bars

I’ll admit that I had extremely low expectations for this one. I mean, it’s Jelly Belly. They’re legendary for their jelly beans, but what do they know about chocolate?

Quite a bit, apparently!

Yes, this is a Jelly Belly product, but it has absolutely nothing to do with jelly beans — it’s just milk chocolate with a minty filling. It’s so much better than I thought it was going to be.

It’s basically like something that Andes would make, but better. Unlike an Andes product, it’s real chocolate, which helps. And it’s good quality chocolate, too — it’s nice and snappy, it’s rich and creamy, and it has a satisfying flavour that isn’t too sweet.

In a lot of bars like this, the chocolate itself is infused with a minty flavour, which makes the whole thing taste a bit toothpastey. But the mintiness here only comes from the filling, which gives the bar a great balance of minty and chocolatey flavour. I feel like this might have been slightly more satisfying if the mint were a bit softer (it’s basically the exact same texture as the chocolate), but that’s a minor complaint.

I started out assuming that this would be more of a novelty than anything else, but now I feel like I need to seek out other Jelly Belly chocolates. It’s weird how good it is.

Manufactured by: Jelly Belly Candy Company
Nutritional info (1 bar, 49 grams): 280 calories, 18 grams of fat (11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat), 10 mg cholesterol, 35 mg sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 26 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fibre, 3 grams of protein.
Ingredients: Milk chocolate (sugar, cocoa butter, whole milk powder, chocolate liquor, soy lecithin (an emulsifier), vanillin), sugar, coconut oil, cocoa butter, nonfat dry milk, contains 2% or less of the following: whole milk powder, soy lecithin (an emulsifier), natural flavor, vegetable and fruit juice (color), turmeric (color).

January 13, 2021 Michael

Charleston Chew – Listen to the Packaging and Try it Frozen

Candy Bars

Charleston Chew is one of those old-timey candy bars that’s been around for decades and decades. Which is obvious just by looking at it — it’s named after the Charleston, the dance that was popular in the 1920s. It’s got some history.

It’s an abundantly simple bar. It’s just vanilla-flavoured nougat (it’s also available in chocolate or strawberry) with a chocolatey coating.

Yes, the chocolate is fake, but in this case it doesn’t really matter — the nougat is chewy enough to completely overwhelm the texture of the mockolate.

“Chew” is right there in the name, so it shouldn’t come as any particular surprise that it’s intensely chewy. The nougat here is quite different from the stuff you’ll find in something like a Mars Bar — it’s way, way more dense.

It’s vaguely marshmallow-esque, both in its flavour and texture, with a springier, more marshmallow-like consistency than traditional nougat. But it’s a lot chewier than any marshmallow I’ve ever had. It’s closer to the level of chew you’ll find in a Tootsie Roll, which isn’t surprising considering that this is made by the same company.

The packaging says to try it frozen, which I did. I mean, what am I supposed to do, not take advice from a candy bar wrapper?? I’m generally not crazy about freezing candy bars, so I was highly skeptical about this.

It was way better than I thought it would be; the freezing process completely changes the texture of the bar. I had feared it was going to be inedibly chewy, but instead the frozen bar takes on an appealing crunchiness (that eventually gives way to chewiness) that kind of reminded me of a Crunchie bar. I can admit when I’m wrong: this is clearly the superior way to eat a Charleston Chew.

Manufactured by: Tootsie Roll Industries
Nutritional info (1 bar, 53 grams): 230 calories, 6 grams of fat (5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat), 10 mg of cholesterol, 20 mg of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fibre, 31 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein.
Ingredients: corn syrup, sugar, palm kernel and palm oil, nonfat dry milk, cocoa, lactose, milk protein concentrate, egg albumen, artificial flavor, soy lecithin, soy protein, salt, sodium citrate.

December 30, 2020January 10, 2021 Michael

Clark Bar – Crunchy, Chewy, and Odd

Candy Bars

I think at this point I’ve reviewed every candy bar in the genre of crispy, sugary, and peanut-buttery. There’s 5th Avenue, Butterfinger, Crispy Crunch, Zagnut, and now Clark Bar. Is that it? Am I done? I think I’m done.

Until now, they had all been mostly interchangeable (outside of Zagnut’s delightful substitution of toasted coconut for chocolate), but Clark Bar is actually a bit different. Is it different in a good way? I don’t think so, but maybe you’ll disagree.

It’s weird. It starts out incredibly crunchy — it’s oddly difficult to even bite into — but then it becomes chewy and you’re thinking, wait, is this stale? But no, that’s just part of it. Once you’ve munched out the crunchiness, you’re left with a gummy, taffy-like sugary blob in your mouth that you have to chew on for quite a while.

It’s interesting, I guess, and the bar has a deeply caramelized flavour that helps to round out its intense sweetness. But it’s also lacking in peanutty flavour, which makes it taste a bit one-note sweet.

After a while the in-your-face sugariness and the off-putting chewy/crunchy contrast becomes exhausting. It’s easily my least favourite of the aforementioned candy bars.

Manufactured by: Boyer
Nutritional info (1 bar, 57 grams): 250 calories, 6 grams of fat (3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat), 0 mg of cholesterol, 10 mg of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, <1 grams of fibre, 37 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein.
Ingredients: Milk chocolate (sugar, cocoa butter, chocolate liquor, milk powder, butter oil, soy lecithin, vanilla extract), corn syrup, sugar, peanuts, molasses, invert sugar, salt, coconut oil, vanilla extract, soy lecithin.

December 27, 2020January 10, 2021 Michael

Snickers Peanut Brownie Squares – Tasty, But Not Enough Brownie Flavour

Candy Bars

I can’t think of a single candy bar that wouldn’t be improved by cramming a brownie into it. Think about it: picture a candy bar. Any candy bar. Now picture brownie inside of it. It’s better, isn’t it?

So obviously the Peanut Brownie version of Snickers (which features peanutty brownies covered in a layer of soft caramel and coated in milk chocolate) is good. How could it not be?

The biggest problem here is that the “brownie” isn’t particularly brownie-like. It basically has the taste and texture of a cocoa-tinged version of the usual Snickers nougat. Looking at the ingredients reveals a lack of flour or butter or any brownie ingredients outside of cocoa (aside from egg whites, which are already present in the nougat you’ll find in a regular Snickers).

Still, it’s tasty; it’s essentially a normal Snickers bar, but with more cocoa flavour. Nothing wrong with that — though like with the original, it’s a bit sweeter than it needs to be.

Manufactured by: Mars
Nutritional info (2 squares, 34 grams): 180 calories, 8 grams of fat (4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat), 5 mg of cholesterol, 85 mg of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fibre, 18 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.
Ingredients: Milk chocolate (sugar, cocoa butter, chocolate, skim milk, lactose, milkfat, soy lecithin), corn syrup, sugar, peanuts, chocolate, milkfat, semisweet chocolate (sugar, chocolate processed with alkali, chocolate, cocoa butter, milkfat, soy lecithin, natural flavor), less than 2% – cocoa powder processed with alkali, invert sugar, palm oil, skim milk, lactose, salt, egg whites, artificial flavor.

December 2, 2020January 10, 2021 Michael

English Toffee Peanut M&M’s – An Intense Kick of Toffee Flavour

Candy Bars

I’ve mentioned before that Peanut M&M’s are the king of M&M’s. This is a stone cold fact and if you think otherwise, as far as I’m concerned you may as well be a flat-Earther. That’s how ridiculous your “opinions” are to me.

Peanut M&M’s are delicious. And of course, English toffee is also delicious. So I was wondering if plain old Peanut M&M’s time on the throne might be coming to an end.

Spoiler alert: it is not. Regular Peanut M&M’s are still the king.

Still, these are tasty. As soon as you rip open the pack, the English toffee aroma hits you in the face. It’s strong. And the flavour is pretty strong, too; it’s almost overwhelming at first, but after you eat a couple, you get used to it.

I should note that, as far as I can tell, there’s no actual English toffee here, just a flavour in the chocolate itself. They might have gone overboard with that flavour, but mostly, it works. The combo of chocolate and English toffee is satisfying, and the peanut does a nice job of adding some nuttiness and balancing out the sweetness of the chocolate.

If the English toffee flavouring were a bit more subtle this might have been something special, but even still, it’s quite good.

Manufactured by: Mars
Nutritional info (1/3 pack, 31 grams): 160 calories, 8 grams of fat (3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat), 0 mg of cholesterol, 15 mg of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fibre, 16 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.
Ingredients: Milk chocolate (sugar, chocolate, skim milk, cocoa butter, lactose, milkfat, peanuts, soy lecithin, salt, artificial and natural flavors), sugar, peanuts, cornstarch, less than 1% – palm oil, corn syrup, dextrin, coloring (includes yellow 5, red 40, yellow 6, blue 1, yellow 6 lake, yellow 5 lake, red 40 lake, blue 1 lake, blue 2 lake, blue 2), carnauba wax, artificial and natural flavors, gum acacia.